Wise Insights from a Fellow Stay-at-Home Daughter

With all the hullaballoo about the new vice presidential candidate, stay-at-home daughter Jasmine Baucham shares "Ten Reasons why I Don't Want to Be VP."

I thought you would be delighted and encouraged by this post, so I'm linking you to it!

Here's reason number 9 in Jasmine's post, just to get you interested,

As a woman who hopes someday to be a wife and mother, I want to give my household 100%; not 80% for the nation, 20% for my household; not 50% for the nation, 50% for my household; not 90% for my household and 10% for the nation; I want to give everything I can to the home I have been called by God Almighty to guard (Titus 2:3-5), to the family He may make me the mother of.

While on the issue of Sarah Palin, these are very much worth reading, from some of my very favorite bloggers.

"Woe to My people..."

McCain's Biblically Unqualified VP Pick a "Feminist for Life"

Wake Up and Smell the Manipulation

Reader Question

Bethany T. writes:

Hi, I had a question for you guys. If you could give me some insight, I would really appreciate it. I am the only SAHD in my church. How might I balance keeping my beliefs and opinions to myself to not offend, and being honest and giving folks a different perspective outside of the college/career path? I don't know what sort of sympathies you have in your church, but any insight you might have would be helpful. Thanks, Bethany T.

My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatlyshaken. Psalm 62:2

I'm going to share a little bit of encouragement for Bethany, then I'd like our readers to chime in with whatever they feel appropriate!

First of all, Bethany, I know just how you feel. There are quite a few stay-at-home daughters in my church, but I know many others who are not at all understanding about my current position. When you are living your life to the glory of God, you are going to have people look at you funny now and then. If not, then you are doing something wrong. I take comfort in that daily!

Don't worry about offending others. Live your life the way the Lord leads you! As long as you are displaying a gentle and quiet spirit, the Lord will take care of the hearts those around you in his perfect will. When asked about your situation, or your convictions, explain in the politest way possible, answering every question with as much insight as you think will best benefit the inquirer. Don't get into a confrontation - if someone is getting pushy or trying to sway you, let your father (or mother) handle it. Most of the time, this will not happen. I usually have people get very quiet or try to change the subject.

Simply modeling a biblical worldview and a gentle and quiet spirit will show others that you are different from the average college aged girl. Most people who ask will have a genuine interest in your beliefs and why you do what you do - even if they are not likeminded.

Trust the Lord, Bethany, model your beliefs in your behavior and answer other's questions politely. Don't be afraid to offend others. Let them be offended if they wish - you're not telling them what they have to do with their life, you're simply living as the Lord leads you.

I hope this answers your question! If you have any extra, or more specific questions feel free to comment! Readers, please chime in with your thoughts on this matter, I'm sure you can be much more eloquent and helpful than I can!

Open Discussion: Modesty

I have a few open discussion questions for you today, readers! I've been thinking a lot about this lately.

Where do you find modest clothing in your area?

Do you think it's possible to be fashionable and still modest? If so, how?

Do you think it's harder to find modest clothing in the summer?

How do you keep cool in longer skirts/pants and sleeves?

What are some reasons why wearing modest clothing is important?

We'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment (or two!) below. After a day or so, I'll chime in with my answers to these questions. I love open discussions, it's always an encouragement to everyone involved. :)

I'm going to seek His face, by fearing the Lord and keeping His commandments, for this is the whole of man.

Ah. This weekend I had the most wonderful, God-honoring graduation ceremony. It was truly a sight to behold, and I wanted to share some of it with our readers here at Stay-At-Home Daughters.

If nothing else, fast-forward to the message. It's about 25 minutes in.

("right-click/Save Target As" to download)
Click here for the audio of the ceremony.

Wow. I was speechless and overwhelmingly grateful to God when I heard the message preached on Saturday. The graduation ceremony was much more meaningful than I had expected and the message was given so straight-forward, and so eloquently that everyone listening had no means to contradict.

Our pastor gave Scripture to support everything he was saying, and praised the high-calling of women to be wives and mothers. No one could have thought of giving me grief about my decision to forgo college after that.

Since there was also a young man graduating this year, our pastor also preached on the role of the man as leader.

It was truly amazing. I’m grateful to God for such a wonderful church family, and wonderful parents who care enough to bring their children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

My mother, Lady Why, also put up a wonderful post about it on her blog. And my sister, Poppy, posted pictures.

While on this topic... Carmon, over at Buried Treasure, also re-posted a very timely article just yesterday on her blog. Head on over and take a look!

A Few Brief Thoughts on Hospitality

Many people I have come into contact with believe that the best place for a women to use her talents is out on the mission field. What they don't realize is how effective a girl can be in sharing the gospel from her home! This is why hospitality is so important for a stay at home daughter, as well as a stay at home wife and mother.

Being hospitable is not just the outward actions of entertaining guests and strangers, but it's also a matter of the heart. The home reflects the actions and attitudes of it's inhabitants. If you are cross and unfriendly, no one will find your home warm or inviting! If your house is God-centered, your home will be warm and comfortable to outsiders. This is one of the best ways a young girl can minister to the lost! It's also an indispensable tool for discipleship. Your home is not a place to hide away and block out the world. If you act like someone is imposing on your time or space, you will have lost your opportunity!

"Use hospitality one to another without grudging." 1 Peter 4:9

I've had many wonderful chats with friends and neighbors about our lifestyle and such at various parties and gatherings. If you are shy, or nervous about answering difficult questions the best way to become more at ease is to practice! Don't worry about what others think of you. Simply speak from your heart and rely on the Lord.

When done with the whole heart, homemaking is an art form! Cooking, cleaning, and decorating either for guests, or just your family can be a pleasure if you choose to see it as such! Sometimes, hospitality is simply helping with these things rather than actually interacting with the guests.

Hospitality is not always done from the home. The ministry of your home can also be doing things like cooking for invalids or new mothers or helping at your church. It's not necessary to be confined to your house, just as long as your family is centered from your home, which is centered on God.

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:2

Do you have anything to add? Leave your thoughts in a comment below!

Image from Allposters.com

Finding Joy in the Home

One of the pitfalls facing young ladies today is the yearning for something outside of the home. So many young ladies say, "Oh, if only I could get out of this house and travel the world!","I need to use my skills in the workplace!","I could accomplish great things!" It's easy to lose focus and become distracted with the glamorous temptations of the world. Satan can make so many things look appealing and harmless. Proverbs 23:17-18 says, "Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off." Remember that God's calling for women is to be in the home, whether as a daughter or a wife and mother.

A lot of girls have trouble being content in their role as daughter. "I'll be happy once I have a husband." If you aren't happy in this season of your life, you won't be happy in the next season either... contentment must be cultivated early. God wants us to make the most of our time now, not when we finally get married. Spend your time making the most of being an unmarried daughter by serving your family and your church with joy and not pining away the days yearning for marriage and children.

Though marriage is most commonly a lady's calling, sometimes God calls girls to singleness. While this may strike terror in the heart of many young ladies, it's important to keep your heart soft and turned to the Lord for His guidance. If He were to call you to singleness, would you be content? If you are content as an unmarried woman now, it will be much easier should you be called to remain single.

As much as I hope to be married one day with my own children, I absolutely adore my family and would be happy to stay here forever. A very wise lady once told me, "Bloom where you're planted." And that's exactly what I try to do on a day by day basis by serving my family within my home. I find great satisfaction and joy in cooking a simple dinner, clearing land for a garden, and playing piano with my siblings. Finding joy in my work is the first step to finding joy in the home. My mother has been teaching us to do our work cheerfully ever since we could walk! No matter how we hated to do the chores, if everyone did them with a cheerful heart, soon we were all smiling and conversing with each other during our work - which made it much more fun! Whether or not your work is a pleasure or "household drudgery" is up to you.

I would encourage you not to dwell on the petty inconveniences that come with homelife. Let those things be quickly forgotten and sometimes even laugh at them! Take time to step back and not only analyze the big picture and true vision, but keep the wonderful aspects in the forefront of your mind. In my house, there is absolutely no way anyone can be in a sour mood when my baby brother has a laughing fit! Everyone of my family members has a brilliant personality and is a tremendous joy! Our home is filled with music, laughter, and playful drama. When the weather is nice, I love nothing more than to be outside with my family enjoying God's creation. Sometimes it's the small, simple things that can bring the most joy to my heart. Most importantly, I take joy in my work because I know it's a blessing to my family. It's just another way I can show God's love to them through my own attitude of contentment simply by finding joy in everything I do!

Look to the Lord for your strength and your encouragement. With constant prayer and trust in Him, He will grant you a truly contented heart.

For those of you who are already content in the season of unmarried womanhood, praise the Lord! It is so wonderful to have blessed friendships with like-minded Christian girls. It has been such a blessing to glean wisdom and encouragement from other girls following the same path. My mother has always been the most influential person to me in this manner as well. I especially love to sit at the feet of the older Titus 2 women in my church. They have so much to share about their lives and their spiritual journeys. It's amazing to look back and see how far the Lord has brought them, and it reminds me how far I still have to go!

The Lord is good!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6

Why I Wear A Dress

A lot of people ask me why I wear dresses, and why I prefer them to pants. I decided to post some of the most common questions I receive about the dress/pants issue.

Why would you want to wear a dress/jumper/skirt? Wouldn't you rather have the "freedom" of wearing pants?
I find that I can still do everything I could do in pants in a skirt or dress. I can do home construction, ride a bike, mow the lawn, and do it all in a skirt! There is very little that I "can't" do in a skirt. Right now, I can't even think of one thing.

Pants are more comfortable and less constricting, right?
For me, I found that this was totally different. There was actually more room to move about in most skirts. There are some skirt styles that do have less leg room, but I find that it helps me to take small, lady-like steps.

OK, I like the idea of wearing dresses, but I can't find anything decent!
Most of my skirts/dresses are found online or secondhand. I also have sewn many of my skirts/dresses. One of my favorite skirt patterns can be found for free here, and I would also like to make this pattern here. It really is easier than it looks.

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A few reasons I like to wear a skirt
They are more feminine
They are more comfortable
They can be dressy or casual
They twirl so nicely
My list could go on and on!

How about you? Why do you like/dislike dresses and skirts?

Have a great day!
~@~Courtney~@~

Dealing with "The College Issue" and Other Difficult Questions

As a follow-up on the last post, I'd like to address how I deal with difficult questions from family members and nosy neighbors. ~wink~

The most popular questions I get are:

The college question: This comes in the form "What college are you going to attend?", and more indirectly, "What are you doing after you graduate?"

For all questions I follow a simple rule of thumb: if the inquirer is genuinely interested in my convictions, I answer gratefully and sincerely all of the questions they ask. The purpose is then to benefit the inquirer. If, on the other hand, the inquirer is asking for the simple reason of trying to question my sanity, be rude, or they simply think it's their responsibility to make sure I "get started in the right direction", I answer briefly, change the subject, or "smile, nod and back away." I find with most people, when I state that I'm staying home after I graduate, they can't change the subject fast enough.. (My mother wrote a wonderful post on answering questions here.)

I usually answer with, "I'm staying home after I graduate and furthering my education on my own." and leave it at that. I have very rarely had to expound, because most people don't care. (my thoughts on this issue can be found here, here, and here.)

Testing: This is when someone tries to test me and my siblings by asking various academic questions. This is usually only performed by those who are against homeschooling or want to make sure my mother is doing what she should. I never answer these questions, it's simply not their place to test us. I have had to intervene when my siblings were being tested before. I never want to be rude, but I usually say lightheartedly that they get enough testing in school. It aggravates me that people try to mess them up by putting them on the spot. Most often, my parents intervene before this goes too far.

So, what do you do?: People ask me this question now, since I'm not bombarded with extracurricular activities, and I'm sure I'll get this question much more after I graduate. I answer truthfully with all of the things I do to help my family around the house. There is quite a lot when you think about it! Courtney wrote a lovely post about this very question recently.

"When are you going to get a job/your driver's license/etc.?": This comes from people who are quick to assume I'm not content at home. Once again, I answer with discernment, depending on what exactly their intentions are and I let them know that I am perfectly content to be at home with my family. (I am going to get my driver's license soon. But, the reason for having a license is not to be "free" from being tied down to my home, as most assume.)

Sometimes I get a snide comment which I have to answer. For example: "I know you just can't wait to get away from all these kids." (talking about my siblings). Most of the time, I ignore snide comments completely.

Whenever I know I'm going to be around those who are not like-minded, I prepare by reminding myself why I believe what I believe. Though, it's not very often that I get questioned thoroughly, always being prepared is a help to me. There was one evening when I stayed up very late into the night studying and reminding myself how to answer tough questions. I knew I was going to be around my extended family for a long period of time, and I was very glad to feel prepared. I never want to be prideful when asked questions like this, nor do I want to feel disheartened.

I don't answer correctly every time. When I was first asked to defend my convictions I made many fumbles and embarrassed myself continually. I was always too passive. I had to practice and learn to stand firm in my beliefs, without being rude, and now I can answer much more clearly and confidently. I still make mistakes from time to time, but I trust the Lord when I'm feeling inadequate.

Some very wonderful answers to some of these questions (namely the college question) can be found here at Visionary Daughters, the blog by the authors of So Much More and the documentary, "Return of the Daughters".

I hope this has been a help to you! God bless you as you live for the Lord as a Stay-At-Home Daughter.


~Flibby

Cultivating Convictions

My convictions were cultivated in me by the grace of God. When I began to think back to write this post, I realized that so many circumstances that seemed very random actually worked together to shape me into who I am today! My parents certainly played a large part in this. Their example has always been wonderful and I know it's been because of their prayers and discernment that they have been able to raise me in the way of the Lord. I was always taught to be like the Bereans by searching everything out through the Scriptures.

Ever since I was a little, little girl I wanted to have a lot of children and be a mother when I grew up. While all my public school friends were deciding they wanted to be doctors, or teachers I found myself frustrated. I didn't want to be any of those, I wanted to be a mother with lots of children. This was long before my family's convictions changed or we even had more than three children. I remember my friends teasing me because I once said that I wanted to beat the world record for most children born to one mother (at the time the world record was 69, by the way. That included 4 sets of quadruplets and 16 sets of twins I believe. =D). Babysitting was (and still is!) my favorite past-time. Whenever a baby was around, I stuck like glue. One of my friends gave me a charm bracelet with a baby carriage on it, because I was the one who wanted to break the world record. Something funny happened to many of those friends. Though none of them wanted to be the world-record holder, they all talked about how they wanted to get married and have lots of babies when they grew up. Now, they not only want little to no children, but many of them don't even want to get married and have turned more toward a feminist mindset. I believe I didn't go in that direction due in part to my family's decision to homeschool.

I was in public school during kindergarten, first, and second grade. Even at my young age, I remember some things very distinctly about public school. There were always the "popular" girls and two girls who feuded every year. I don't remember doing schoolwork in public school. I'm sure we did it but I don't remember it at all! When we started homeschooling I was eight years old. I didn't know the reasons why my parents decided to start homeschooling, but I knew that I never had to get up and go to that awful school again and that thought delighted me! We moved to this house and I was so excited as the basement was transformed into our schoolroom. My mother had previously been a teacher so she created our very own school at home complete with colorful posters, bulletin boards, and desks. I didn't know the spiritual benefits or the Scriptural commands about educating your children at home until much later.

Good literature has also been a key element in shaping my convictions. Some of the most important ones were So Much More, Raising Maidens of Virtue, Beautiful Girlhood, Mother, etc. (You can see and purchase any of these in our Astore in the sidebar.) So Much More really opened my eyes to the whole issue of attending college. Scripture is quoted throughout the book and I found myself with a lot of "Aha!" moments. Why didn't I see it before? The Lord was opening my eyes! My conviction about women and college started with me before my parents even considered it. When I was about 14, I decided I never wanted to go to college. In fact, I was scared to death at the thought of being out on my own and having to fend for myself (part of this was because of a phase of unbelievable shyness that I was going through at the time). My parents just laughed and said I'd grow out of it. When I read the college chapter in So Much More, I was mostly relieved at the fact that I had found an excuse to stay home! I joyously went and showed my mother. But now at nearly 18, this is a heartfelt conviction rather than an excuse. My parents read the book and their convictions changed dramatically.

My heart has always been at home, and I believe that every little girl has this desire from birth. It is only when the combination of bad parenting and her flesh take over that the world is filled with radical feminists and the likes of Britney Spears. I am completely content at home with my family in this season of my life. It's such a blessing and when I think back over what the Lord has done for our family, how He's changed our convictions and given us discernment, I am in awe. My calling as a godly daughter pursuing biblical femininity is the most rewarding place my life could be right now.

I'm so blessed to be able to enjoy the freedom of life in Christ rather than the shackles of the world!

"And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness." Romans 8:10