Guest Post: "Of God's Grace and Words"

Submitted by Meghan G.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” goes the old and untrue saying. Words are very powerful things no matter how they are used. They can sway opinions, encourage, hurt and influence whether in writing or spoken. Hurtful words are almost indelible; they hurt so much and if more hurtful words are flung at the victim it makes an even heavier mark that stays with the victim for years.

Many times a day I hurt my sister with my words and my mother reprimands me for my behavior but in my weak flesh I do it again and again but by God’s grace and my sister’s grace I am forgiven. Though I am forgiven by both the Lord and my sister my words still leave a mark on my sister’s heart and in turn, she is sometimes unkind to our younger siblings. It is not her fault but my own. If I had simply held my tongue instead of lashing out at my sister, the hurt would not mark my sister’s heart and she would not have lashed out at our younger siblings at a later time. Psalm 55:21, “The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart; His words were softer than oil yet they were drawn swords,” accurately describes how our words can hurt and this verse also directly talks about what the next paragraph is about: our tone of voice.

The tone of voice we use has a very heavy effect on our words even if we don’t intentionally try and sound that way. Countless times I ask for help with baking, schoolwork, my handiwork and I sound like I’m whining and though it was unintentional it effected the rest of my family in the form of my baby sister whining her head off if she did not get her own way. No matter what we say it’s how we say it that matters. Something as simple as saying ‘hello’ to a relative can show them our attitude towards seeing them. In the case of having relatives who are not believers your tone will tell them what your attitude is and they’ll think, “I guess their God isn’t as good as they all say He is if they’re acting so miserable.” What kind of a Christ proclaiming witness is that?

On another note, your tone of voice, words, attitude and everything you do is an example to your younger siblings if you have any, your friends and extended family. If, like me, you are an older sister, you have one of the greatest gifts God could give you: built in accountability partners. They watch your every move, copy you from time to time, and without thinking, they show you up and ask “why did you do that?” oh so innocently and sweetly. Psalm 133:1 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" Substitute the word “brethren” for “Sistren” and isn’t the verse true? How good it is for sisters to live together in harmony with their siblings? I know it would make parenting a lot easier for my parents, not to mention our family relationships would grow stronger and that would spill over to how we treated our friends. Unfortunately, in our weak flesh it cannot always be like that; that is where grace from God comes in. If we try our best to act selflessly and humbly to our siblings and to control our tongue with God’s help our family environment will be peaceful and happy.

Our tongue is so untamable but for God’s marvelous grace: James 3: 8-12 "But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh." Just in these simple verses, God shows us His grace; He wrote these words through James to speak to us and convict us. That alone is grace and mercy! Hebrews 4:16: "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Grumbling about chores, commenting about a sibling’s messes, grumbling about babysitting; the list of things we complain, grumble and comment about can be endless. Many times if we comment frequently we are reprimanded but I know sometimes is goes through one ear and right out the other. It all goes directly back to our weak flesh and our tongue. Our tongue is the hardest thing to tame; it all goes back to our pride and self-centeredness. We are so focused on ourselves that we think it’s a huge inconvenience to be asked to do the dishes after lunch or we think we’re higher than doing anything but what we want to do. When it all boils down, A proud and haughty man—“Scoffer” is his name; He acts with arrogant pride, Proverbs 21:24 and Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18.

2nd Chronicles 7:14 is the answer to pride: "if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land." The key to holding your tongue is self control and humility and you can not have any of those things without God’s grace and forgiveness. "Surely He scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble." Proverbs 3:34
My sister is so important to me, as are all my siblings. She and I are very different but yet the same in a lot of areas. I wouldn’t trade her for anything! I wouldn’t trade all the nights of she and I talking until midnight, I wouldn’t trade the little tickle scuffles we have all the time for anything. I’m sure all sisters in the world have small arguments over stupid things but I know they all repent and ask forgiveness.

There is a verse in Ezekiel and I am not sure if it reads the same in all versions, but it reads the following in the New King James version: "You, who judged your sisters, bear your own shame also, because the sins which you committed were more abominable than theirs; they are more righteous than you. Yes, be disgraced also, and bear your own shame, because you justified your sisters," Ezekiel 16:52.

There are three examples of sisters in the Bible: Mary and Martha, Orpah and Ruth and Leah and Rachel. I believe they had their ups and down’s like any other normal human being. Orpah and Ruth were sister in-laws but they probably lived together with their husbands and got to know one another; Mary was the humble younger sister and Martha was the prideful sister who that her work was more important than spending time at Jesus’ feet and Leah and Rachel had the same husband and in the Bible it says they did not get along. Just because these women were in the Bible doesn’t mean they were perfect. When the sisters were younger I’m sure they bickered a lot like any other normal little girls but it doesn’t mean they were not disciplined and punished for their actions and words. Rachel was jealous of Leah and I’m sure they exchanged angry and hurtful words many times, but they did not have the grace of God as we are so blessed to have now.

God’s wrath was not satisfied until Jesus died on the cross and before the crucifixion; the people had to sacrifice animals annually to pay for their sins. It is important we thank God daily for our families, especially our sister(s) who is a built in best friend. God’s grace is so vast and even if we doubt why God put us in our family, it is His grace He did so! He has a purpose for our life, our family and we owe it all to Him alone.

In Christ Alone, my hope is found; He is my light my strength, my song. This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease. My comforter, my all in all. Here in the love of Christ, I stand.

One of my favorite hymns has a particular third verse that sums up everything about God’s grace:

O to grace how great a debtor Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.

Only by God’s grace can we control our tongues and speak encouraging words of kindness to our sisters and brothers. But first we must realize we’ve done wrong in our Heavenly Father’s eyes, humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness from our heavenly Father and the person we’ve offended. The more we humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness, the easier it will be to hold our tongues and keep our comments to ourselves. Words hurt; sisters argue and hurt each other, but through God’s awesome (in the true sense of the word) grace, we are forgiven.

Meghan G. is a fourteen going-on fifteen young lady who loves to write, crochet, cross-stitch, read and watch old musicals. She is home schooled by her mother and is entering tenth grade-this will be her ninth year of home schooling. She is the eldest of her four siblings Sara who is twelve, Ronnie who is six and Anna who is three. Meghan loves receiving e-mails and getting to know other like-minded young ladies. Her e-mail is mmbbg72493@gmail.com

Fruit of the Spirit: Peace

It's time for another Fruit of the Spirit installment! We've already covered love and joy. This month's Fruit is Peace.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

The kind of peace that I'm going to talk about is the kind that passes all understanding. The peace that only the Lord can give. When you have this peace from God, the world can see it. Children of God don't have to worry about death, or circumstances beyond their control. The Lord is sovereign!

I have seen so many people fall into worry and stress when they are not leaning on the Lord's guidance. You may have a false sense of security, a lot of money, you may have a lovely home, or a wonderful family, but without the Lord's hand in the lives of His children, we would have nothing.

I can't even explain how grateful I am to the Lord for choosing me and allowing me to be born into a Christian home with such wonderful Christian friends. It's the greatest encouragement of all to me. Whenever I start to feel tense about anything, whether it be large or small, all I have to do is remind myself to keep my focus and trust on Jesus. He is my rock. Without Him I would be nothing.

To those who are truly walking with the Lord, the petty things of this world don't matter. It doesn't matter whether or not others are pleased with your actions, as long as you are obeying the Lord's commands, all other thoughts can be put into perspective.

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help" Psalm 121:1

When things seem to be falling apart, and stress and sadness threaten to overcome, I find that crying to the Lord and keeping my focus on Him and Him alone is the only way I can find true peace.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls" Matthew 11:28, 29

It's not possible to express in words how at peace and delighted in the Lord I feel when I think of the fact that His eye is on the sparrow, so I know He watches me.

Nothing can touch me that God does not allow! Everything is according to His purpose. It's the most reassuring feeling. When we give everything to the Lord and keep Him the number one priority in our lives, God's peace is granted.

Today, I want to encourage you to revel in the peace that comes only from Christ Jesus.

God Bless You!
Flibby

"The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace" Numbers 6:26

A Thought For Thursday: J is for Joy

This is a neat little memory tool for prioritizing your time and how you spend it:

J- Jesus First

O- Others Second

Y- Yourself Last

Although it seems so simple, JOY is a great way to remember to put the most important priorities first.

Many times (and I am guilty of this myself!), we put ourselves first, without thinking about others and what they might need. There are so many people who are hurting or just need a helping hand, and we are so occupied with ourselves that we miss the bigger picture. God wants us to help and be more mindful of others.

Sometimes we shove God aside, saying or thinking things like: "I will read my Bible later" or "Praying isn't that important".

God is the very backbone for my life. If He wasn't here, my life would be totally different. He loves and cares about me. If I truly loved Jesus, why would I put Him aside? I try to remember this before thinking of my own time.

JOY has really helped me place my priorities in order, and I know this will help you too! :)



You can feel free to place the graphic in your sidebar.

Wishing you all a lovely day!
~*~Courtney~*~

The Service Of The Lord

The Service Of The Lord





I love being in the service of the Lord.

I may not be a missionary, a Bible study leader, or a prophet.

but, I love being in the service of the Lord.

My ministry consists of my home and neighbors,

and I love being in the service of the Lord.

I may not be a minister to the poor or the mentally distressed,

but I love being in the service of the Lord.

I love to encourage others as they walk along the same path.

and I love being in the service of the Lord.

I thrive from moments spent in His loving word,

and I love being in the service of the Lord.

Wherever He places me, I shall go, joyfully pondering each monent along the way.

And, I love being in the service of the Lord.

--Ellie Arnatt

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever."



~*~Courtney~*~

A Few Brief Thoughts on Hospitality

Many people I have come into contact with believe that the best place for a women to use her talents is out on the mission field. What they don't realize is how effective a girl can be in sharing the gospel from her home! This is why hospitality is so important for a stay at home daughter, as well as a stay at home wife and mother.

Being hospitable is not just the outward actions of entertaining guests and strangers, but it's also a matter of the heart. The home reflects the actions and attitudes of it's inhabitants. If you are cross and unfriendly, no one will find your home warm or inviting! If your house is God-centered, your home will be warm and comfortable to outsiders. This is one of the best ways a young girl can minister to the lost! It's also an indispensable tool for discipleship. Your home is not a place to hide away and block out the world. If you act like someone is imposing on your time or space, you will have lost your opportunity!

"Use hospitality one to another without grudging." 1 Peter 4:9

I've had many wonderful chats with friends and neighbors about our lifestyle and such at various parties and gatherings. If you are shy, or nervous about answering difficult questions the best way to become more at ease is to practice! Don't worry about what others think of you. Simply speak from your heart and rely on the Lord.

When done with the whole heart, homemaking is an art form! Cooking, cleaning, and decorating either for guests, or just your family can be a pleasure if you choose to see it as such! Sometimes, hospitality is simply helping with these things rather than actually interacting with the guests.

Hospitality is not always done from the home. The ministry of your home can also be doing things like cooking for invalids or new mothers or helping at your church. It's not necessary to be confined to your house, just as long as your family is centered from your home, which is centered on God.

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:2

Do you have anything to add? Leave your thoughts in a comment below!

Image from Allposters.com

Finding Joy in the Home

One of the pitfalls facing young ladies today is the yearning for something outside of the home. So many young ladies say, "Oh, if only I could get out of this house and travel the world!","I need to use my skills in the workplace!","I could accomplish great things!" It's easy to lose focus and become distracted with the glamorous temptations of the world. Satan can make so many things look appealing and harmless. Proverbs 23:17-18 says, "Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off." Remember that God's calling for women is to be in the home, whether as a daughter or a wife and mother.

A lot of girls have trouble being content in their role as daughter. "I'll be happy once I have a husband." If you aren't happy in this season of your life, you won't be happy in the next season either... contentment must be cultivated early. God wants us to make the most of our time now, not when we finally get married. Spend your time making the most of being an unmarried daughter by serving your family and your church with joy and not pining away the days yearning for marriage and children.

Though marriage is most commonly a lady's calling, sometimes God calls girls to singleness. While this may strike terror in the heart of many young ladies, it's important to keep your heart soft and turned to the Lord for His guidance. If He were to call you to singleness, would you be content? If you are content as an unmarried woman now, it will be much easier should you be called to remain single.

As much as I hope to be married one day with my own children, I absolutely adore my family and would be happy to stay here forever. A very wise lady once told me, "Bloom where you're planted." And that's exactly what I try to do on a day by day basis by serving my family within my home. I find great satisfaction and joy in cooking a simple dinner, clearing land for a garden, and playing piano with my siblings. Finding joy in my work is the first step to finding joy in the home. My mother has been teaching us to do our work cheerfully ever since we could walk! No matter how we hated to do the chores, if everyone did them with a cheerful heart, soon we were all smiling and conversing with each other during our work - which made it much more fun! Whether or not your work is a pleasure or "household drudgery" is up to you.

I would encourage you not to dwell on the petty inconveniences that come with homelife. Let those things be quickly forgotten and sometimes even laugh at them! Take time to step back and not only analyze the big picture and true vision, but keep the wonderful aspects in the forefront of your mind. In my house, there is absolutely no way anyone can be in a sour mood when my baby brother has a laughing fit! Everyone of my family members has a brilliant personality and is a tremendous joy! Our home is filled with music, laughter, and playful drama. When the weather is nice, I love nothing more than to be outside with my family enjoying God's creation. Sometimes it's the small, simple things that can bring the most joy to my heart. Most importantly, I take joy in my work because I know it's a blessing to my family. It's just another way I can show God's love to them through my own attitude of contentment simply by finding joy in everything I do!

Look to the Lord for your strength and your encouragement. With constant prayer and trust in Him, He will grant you a truly contented heart.

For those of you who are already content in the season of unmarried womanhood, praise the Lord! It is so wonderful to have blessed friendships with like-minded Christian girls. It has been such a blessing to glean wisdom and encouragement from other girls following the same path. My mother has always been the most influential person to me in this manner as well. I especially love to sit at the feet of the older Titus 2 women in my church. They have so much to share about their lives and their spiritual journeys. It's amazing to look back and see how far the Lord has brought them, and it reminds me how far I still have to go!

The Lord is good!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6

Why I Wear A Dress

A lot of people ask me why I wear dresses, and why I prefer them to pants. I decided to post some of the most common questions I receive about the dress/pants issue.

Why would you want to wear a dress/jumper/skirt? Wouldn't you rather have the "freedom" of wearing pants?
I find that I can still do everything I could do in pants in a skirt or dress. I can do home construction, ride a bike, mow the lawn, and do it all in a skirt! There is very little that I "can't" do in a skirt. Right now, I can't even think of one thing.

Pants are more comfortable and less constricting, right?
For me, I found that this was totally different. There was actually more room to move about in most skirts. There are some skirt styles that do have less leg room, but I find that it helps me to take small, lady-like steps.

OK, I like the idea of wearing dresses, but I can't find anything decent!
Most of my skirts/dresses are found online or secondhand. I also have sewn many of my skirts/dresses. One of my favorite skirt patterns can be found for free here, and I would also like to make this pattern here. It really is easier than it looks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few reasons I like to wear a skirt
They are more feminine
They are more comfortable
They can be dressy or casual
They twirl so nicely
My list could go on and on!

How about you? Why do you like/dislike dresses and skirts?

Have a great day!
~@~Courtney~@~

Fruits of the Spirit: Love

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

We are beginning a new series here on Stay-At-Home Daughters! Every month check back for the next installment of our fruits of the spirit series. February's topic is love. How fitting! I'm going to share practical ways a Stay-At-Home Daughter can show love to her family, friends and those who persecute her.

The hardest aspect of love, for me, is being able to show love to those who hate you, persecute you, or wish to show you harm. When presented with a challenge or accusations, I answer them gently and cautiously. As the Proverb says:

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Sometimes those you love turn from the ways of the Lord, and can become what the Bible calls, "a heathen". Matthew 18 explains how to deal with this,

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Matthew 18:15-18

I have various extended family members from whom we have had to separate ourselves. Many other family members argue that we are "not showing Christian love" when we don't support the lifestyle of the rebellious. On the contrary, biblically this is the only way we can truly show Christian love to our brethren, by following biblical example and demonstrating the fact that their lifestyle is not okay. Though this may seem harsh, ultimately we have to answer to an almighty God for our actions, not our family members. The best way to show Christian love for them is to pray for them. We pray for our lost extended family members and friends, and those who try to convince us that we are in the wrong.

For some girls, loving those closest to you can be tough. I thought I'd share some ways to not just get along with your siblings and family, but to show the love of Christ to them in everyday life.

Simple gestures of kindness mean a lot! My mother loves it when I bring her a glass of tea, start the laundry, iron, clean out the refrigerator or any other simple task without being asked. A lot of times, your family won't even notice the small things you do for them, but that's ok! The Lord will take notice! Remember -- character is who you are when no one is looking. Not seeking recognition for something is a wonderful way to exercise selflessness. The most important way to show love to your parents is to be submissive to them as your God given authority, and show cheerful obedience and respect. Sometimes when I want to do something helpful for my mother, I take my siblings and do something to keep them occupied. This is a great way to not only show love for your parents, but your siblings as well! The way your younger siblings will pick up on how much you love them is by how much time you spend with them! Playing with them may not be the most fun for you, but to them it's such a thrill!

My little sister loves when I make cards for her. Just a little piece of paper folded with a flower drawn on the front is enough to make her smile! It's easy to tell what things your siblings love when you spend time getting to know them. Every once in a while I prepare surprises for my little siblings, like a treasure hunt! They get so excited over such a simple thing! My little siblings also love it when I read to them, or sing to them. I love to be able to tuck them in at night and tell them I love them.

My sister (Poppy) and I are best friends. We talk about everything, joke, laugh, and share the same interests. The Lord was so good to put her in my life, but I know that everyone has different situations. Some of you may have siblings that are older, or very close to you in age. The best way I've found to show love to older siblings is to listen to them, being sensitive to their wishes and needs, and show them respect. It's much harder to get into arguments if you have their best interest at heart. Spend time learning things together! My sister and I have spent the past few months mastering the splits. It's so much fun to stretch together everyday! She and I exercise with my mom regularly, we shop together, we take piano lessons together, and we write this blog together! We have quite a few differences, and we have some disagreements, but we love and respect each other.

Overall, to learn how to truly apply this fruit of the spirit to your life, you have to learn to put yourself last! Selflessness is a trait that isn't easy to master, but the Lord can make it your second nature. Also, pray for your family, your friends, and fellow man, pray for the lost and the weary and pray for the Lord to help you show His love to the world.

God has blessed me with an intense love for those around me. It's such a blessing to be able to find joy in simply spending time with people!

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

Dealing with "The College Issue" and Other Difficult Questions

As a follow-up on the last post, I'd like to address how I deal with difficult questions from family members and nosy neighbors. ~wink~

The most popular questions I get are:

The college question: This comes in the form "What college are you going to attend?", and more indirectly, "What are you doing after you graduate?"

For all questions I follow a simple rule of thumb: if the inquirer is genuinely interested in my convictions, I answer gratefully and sincerely all of the questions they ask. The purpose is then to benefit the inquirer. If, on the other hand, the inquirer is asking for the simple reason of trying to question my sanity, be rude, or they simply think it's their responsibility to make sure I "get started in the right direction", I answer briefly, change the subject, or "smile, nod and back away." I find with most people, when I state that I'm staying home after I graduate, they can't change the subject fast enough.. (My mother wrote a wonderful post on answering questions here.)

I usually answer with, "I'm staying home after I graduate and furthering my education on my own." and leave it at that. I have very rarely had to expound, because most people don't care. (my thoughts on this issue can be found here, here, and here.)

Testing: This is when someone tries to test me and my siblings by asking various academic questions. This is usually only performed by those who are against homeschooling or want to make sure my mother is doing what she should. I never answer these questions, it's simply not their place to test us. I have had to intervene when my siblings were being tested before. I never want to be rude, but I usually say lightheartedly that they get enough testing in school. It aggravates me that people try to mess them up by putting them on the spot. Most often, my parents intervene before this goes too far.

So, what do you do?: People ask me this question now, since I'm not bombarded with extracurricular activities, and I'm sure I'll get this question much more after I graduate. I answer truthfully with all of the things I do to help my family around the house. There is quite a lot when you think about it! Courtney wrote a lovely post about this very question recently.

"When are you going to get a job/your driver's license/etc.?": This comes from people who are quick to assume I'm not content at home. Once again, I answer with discernment, depending on what exactly their intentions are and I let them know that I am perfectly content to be at home with my family. (I am going to get my driver's license soon. But, the reason for having a license is not to be "free" from being tied down to my home, as most assume.)

Sometimes I get a snide comment which I have to answer. For example: "I know you just can't wait to get away from all these kids." (talking about my siblings). Most of the time, I ignore snide comments completely.

Whenever I know I'm going to be around those who are not like-minded, I prepare by reminding myself why I believe what I believe. Though, it's not very often that I get questioned thoroughly, always being prepared is a help to me. There was one evening when I stayed up very late into the night studying and reminding myself how to answer tough questions. I knew I was going to be around my extended family for a long period of time, and I was very glad to feel prepared. I never want to be prideful when asked questions like this, nor do I want to feel disheartened.

I don't answer correctly every time. When I was first asked to defend my convictions I made many fumbles and embarrassed myself continually. I was always too passive. I had to practice and learn to stand firm in my beliefs, without being rude, and now I can answer much more clearly and confidently. I still make mistakes from time to time, but I trust the Lord when I'm feeling inadequate.

Some very wonderful answers to some of these questions (namely the college question) can be found here at Visionary Daughters, the blog by the authors of So Much More and the documentary, "Return of the Daughters".

I hope this has been a help to you! God bless you as you live for the Lord as a Stay-At-Home Daughter.


~Flibby

Cultivating Convictions

My convictions were cultivated in me by the grace of God. When I began to think back to write this post, I realized that so many circumstances that seemed very random actually worked together to shape me into who I am today! My parents certainly played a large part in this. Their example has always been wonderful and I know it's been because of their prayers and discernment that they have been able to raise me in the way of the Lord. I was always taught to be like the Bereans by searching everything out through the Scriptures.

Ever since I was a little, little girl I wanted to have a lot of children and be a mother when I grew up. While all my public school friends were deciding they wanted to be doctors, or teachers I found myself frustrated. I didn't want to be any of those, I wanted to be a mother with lots of children. This was long before my family's convictions changed or we even had more than three children. I remember my friends teasing me because I once said that I wanted to beat the world record for most children born to one mother (at the time the world record was 69, by the way. That included 4 sets of quadruplets and 16 sets of twins I believe. =D). Babysitting was (and still is!) my favorite past-time. Whenever a baby was around, I stuck like glue. One of my friends gave me a charm bracelet with a baby carriage on it, because I was the one who wanted to break the world record. Something funny happened to many of those friends. Though none of them wanted to be the world-record holder, they all talked about how they wanted to get married and have lots of babies when they grew up. Now, they not only want little to no children, but many of them don't even want to get married and have turned more toward a feminist mindset. I believe I didn't go in that direction due in part to my family's decision to homeschool.

I was in public school during kindergarten, first, and second grade. Even at my young age, I remember some things very distinctly about public school. There were always the "popular" girls and two girls who feuded every year. I don't remember doing schoolwork in public school. I'm sure we did it but I don't remember it at all! When we started homeschooling I was eight years old. I didn't know the reasons why my parents decided to start homeschooling, but I knew that I never had to get up and go to that awful school again and that thought delighted me! We moved to this house and I was so excited as the basement was transformed into our schoolroom. My mother had previously been a teacher so she created our very own school at home complete with colorful posters, bulletin boards, and desks. I didn't know the spiritual benefits or the Scriptural commands about educating your children at home until much later.

Good literature has also been a key element in shaping my convictions. Some of the most important ones were So Much More, Raising Maidens of Virtue, Beautiful Girlhood, Mother, etc. (You can see and purchase any of these in our Astore in the sidebar.) So Much More really opened my eyes to the whole issue of attending college. Scripture is quoted throughout the book and I found myself with a lot of "Aha!" moments. Why didn't I see it before? The Lord was opening my eyes! My conviction about women and college started with me before my parents even considered it. When I was about 14, I decided I never wanted to go to college. In fact, I was scared to death at the thought of being out on my own and having to fend for myself (part of this was because of a phase of unbelievable shyness that I was going through at the time). My parents just laughed and said I'd grow out of it. When I read the college chapter in So Much More, I was mostly relieved at the fact that I had found an excuse to stay home! I joyously went and showed my mother. But now at nearly 18, this is a heartfelt conviction rather than an excuse. My parents read the book and their convictions changed dramatically.

My heart has always been at home, and I believe that every little girl has this desire from birth. It is only when the combination of bad parenting and her flesh take over that the world is filled with radical feminists and the likes of Britney Spears. I am completely content at home with my family in this season of my life. It's such a blessing and when I think back over what the Lord has done for our family, how He's changed our convictions and given us discernment, I am in awe. My calling as a godly daughter pursuing biblical femininity is the most rewarding place my life could be right now.

I'm so blessed to be able to enjoy the freedom of life in Christ rather than the shackles of the world!

"And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness." Romans 8:10

So, what do you do?

Hello there!

I hope that this Friday finds you well. I know that our day has been lovely.

Several people have asked me about what kinds of things I do while serving here at home. I thought I would answer some of those questions tonight.

First of all, a typical daily schedule for me looks something like this:

5:00 -I get up for the day and I do my Bible/quiet time, and then start my school work, and continue school until 7:00.

7:00 - Make bed/clean room/get dressed, and if Mom hasn't started a load of laundry, I start one.

7:30 - Straighten zone (my zone is the kitchen, and I usually use this time to clean glass, wipe out the refrigerator, dust, etc.)

8:00 - Eat breakfast/kitchen clean up, swap laundry out (I usually just load the washing machine, most of the time my younger siblings take care of loading/unloading the dryer),and I usually do some school reading here (currently it is Tithing and Dominion, and it is a great book!)

9:00 - Read-alouds/school work

10:00 - School hour with little ones (I do the music lessons and phonics lessons)

11:00 - Piano practice

11:30 - Violin practice

12:00 - Eat lunch/kitchen clean up/straighten house quickly, and do some school reading

1:00 - Finish school, start web work (my family owns several web based businesses)

3:00 - Straighten house, and then we usually go outside for a little bit. I usually to some school reading here as well.

After that, we usually cook dinner and do a nice evening routine(including spending lots of time with Dad when he comes home from work)

This is a very loose schedule. In my spare minutes, I finish any leftover chores or school, help with the laundry, help my Mom with anything she needs, hold little Jon, spend time with my siblings, work on house renovations, sew or craft, blog, bake little goodies, enjoy corresponding with several pen pals, do additional music practice, and all sorts of things! We also have scripture cd's, lecture cd's and other misc. school cd's while we are cleaning or not doing sit down school work.

It is very easy to stay busy at home, which is my Biblical place. I enjoy helping my Father in business, helping Mom with the children or the house, etc.

Some of the questions I get are:

Do you ever get tired of being at home? Wouldn't you rather be out with your friends?

First of all, I never tire of being here at home. It is the best place in the world for me! There is always a batch of cookies to make, a neighbor to visit, a new pattern to sew, a bathroom to renovate, or a home business to help with! My house is the most exciting place in the world!


What about a job? Don't you want to have a job so that you can support yourself?

Why would I want to further a stranger's business, when I could be furthering my Father's business instead? I find great pleasure in helping my Dad with our businesses and being entrepreneurial with my family.

Which leads me to the next question,

What do you actually do for your business?

I learned to program HTML and ASP last year, so my brother and I are in charge of a lot of the background operations on our websites. I also help to take the pictures for the websites, and I am currently working on several Ebooks to be launched in the spring.

Well, helping your Dad is nice, but what if my Dad doesn't have a business?

There are lots of ways to help your Dad, even if he is not in business in a way you can help. Ask him about his vision for your family. Ask if there is anything you can help him with outside of doing business. When we were renovating the mstr. bathroom in my home, my Dad and I hung the cement board for the tub surround. It was a nice time simply to talk to him and ask him about things we planned to do for the next year or so.
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If you have any questions for me, you can leave a comment below, and I will get back to you asap!

Wishing you a good night,
~@~Courtney~@~

Words from the wise...

Mr. Doug Phillips, President of Vision Forum Inc., always has such wise and wonderful things to say over at his blog. As we approach the year 2008, he had these things to say:

Three of the Most Important Things You Can Do at This Time of The Year

Dear Friends:

Life moves fast. If we don’t take the time to chronicle the providences of God, we forget them. If we don’t take the time to say thank you to those who have invested in our lives, we actually cultivate a spirit of ingratitude in our own hearts. If we don’t stop and make sure that we have a spirit of forgiveness toward others, we grow bitter, we lose the capacity to move victoriously into the future, and our prayers are hindered.

Here is a little practice that I was taught and would like to share with you. Each year, during the last week of December, I would encourage you to do the following things.

I. Outline and Chronicle the Many Providences of God

Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. (Hab. 33:2)

First, using simple bullet points, outline the key events for every week of every month of the year. Take the time to do the research which will help jog your memory and allow you to make an accurate record. I find that reviewing bills, blogs, journals, newspaper headlines, letters, and even organizing my photographs chronologically are enormously helpful tools. Those individuals who were faithful to journal or keep a diary will have little problem reconstructing key events. Give yourself a good week to reconstruct your own outline of the year. Also, by making this a family project, you will not only build your list with greater speed and precision, but (in the hands of a loving patriarch) the very act of chronicling the providences of God in your life is a blessed tool for family discipleship.

Every family will have a different set of priorities directing what they should record. In addition to recording the key events and providences of the year chronologically, I try to take the time with my family to record some of the following information on separate bullet lists:

1. Where did I/we travel?

2. What were the titles and key texts of sermons I preached?

3. What books/articles did I write?

4. What significant household projects did we accomplish in 2007?

5. What were the most important meetings of the year?

6. What special friendships were made this year?

7. Which children lost teeth, and how many?

8. Who grew in physical stature, and how much did they grow?

9. Who learned to read this year?

10. What diet and physical exercise regimen did I maintain to honor “my temple”?

11. What books did I read? Did we read as a family? Did my children read?

12. What Scriptures did my family memorize?

13. What loved ones died this year?

14. What were the great personal/ministry/national tragedies and losses of the
year?

15. What were the great personal/ministry/national blessings of the year?

16. What were my most significant failures/sins for the year 2007?

17. What unresolved conflicts/issues am I bringing into 2008?

18. What significant spiritual and practical victories did I experience?

19. In what tangible ways did I communicate gratitude to those who have blessed me and invested in my life?

20. What are the top ten themes of 2007 for my family?

This is just a sample of the article! To read the rest, visit Doug's Blog.

Questions For Suitors

"Imagine...the day comes when a suitor appears on the scene. Great! What
next?

An excellent next step is to determine whether a marriage between you
and him would be an equal yoking. That is, if you were to enter into a
relationship or courtship, could it culminate in a marriage? Do you
believe the same things? Is there anything which would hinder the two of
you from marrying? For example, for me, I wouldn't marry a man who
didn't want to educate his children at home. So when my suitor came
along, that was one of the first questions my dad asked him!

Your suitor might be a complete stranger or at least you may not know
him well enough to know whether you'd like to marry him. So, as well as
learning about his beliefs and convictions, it may be that you would
like to get to know other aspects about him: his interests and
preferences, likes and dislikes, views on various things, practices,
personal history and family background, etc

This is where the following list of questions for suitors is helpful.
They can help you get to know him. And as you ask him these questions,
he might use them too to help him get to know you!

As you read through these questions, there may be some that will make
you think, "I don't care about that. I don't need to know the answer to
that question." That is fine! We all have different things we are
looking for and wondering about. Maybe as you read through you'll think,
"What about asking him this or that?" Excellent!

There are over 70 questions on various subjects below.
Use them as a launching pad to help you think about other things you'd
like to discuss with a suitor.

A way that myself and other girls have used questions that we have
compiled is to go through the questions with our parents/family. This
can be a wonderful exercise. It can iron out what is really important to
your family and can help you and your father communicate accurately
about what he is looking for in a husband for you and what you are
hoping for in a husband for yourself. If you do that with these
questions, you might come up with others you'd like to ask in addition
to or instead of some of these questions.

~Questions~

Entertainment

Are sports just something fun to do, or are they a big part of
your life?

What music do you listen to? (some examples) Does your family
like/enjoy it too?

What is your standard for Godly music?

What are your views on television in the home, and what is your
family's history with television?

What are your thoughts on computer/video gaming?

What's your favorite sport?

What kind of music do you like?



Family

What family traditions, holiday or otherwise, would you like to
incorporate into your family?

Do you want your children homeschooled? What role would you play
in that? Would a 'hodge-podge' of curriculum be a part of the schooling
plan?

How would you go about testing suitors for your daughters? Or
mates for your sons?

What are your ideas when it comes to medical vs. natural/herbal
remedies, or emergencies?

Is homeschooling a preference or a conviction and why? What does
your family think about it?

What methods of discipline did your parents and grandparents
use, and what is your opinion about this?

If a visiting child misbehaves in your home, how do or would you
handle it?

What are your family's holiday and anniversary traditions and
how do you feel about them?

As an adult living with or away from your family, what parts do
your mother, father and grandparents play in your life?

In your family, whose responsibility is it to mow the lawn and
take care of other yard work? Is that the way you think it should be?
How do or would you establish division of labor indoors and out?

Does your family have an history of health challenges, and what
is their and your view on this?

How would you discipline a child if the child needed it?

Would you want your children home educated or sent to a school?



Finances

Do you only buy/wear name brand clothing/shoes, or are finds at
thrift stores just fine?

Would you be the only money-maker, or could (I) continue one or
more cottage industries (which were begun before marriage), either
throughout the marriage or as needed?

Do you have a student loan or credit card debt? If so what are
your plans for paying it off?



Food

Do you like 'leftover' meals or something fresh for each meal?

What food(s) will you absolutely not eat? :)

When your family visits friends for a shared meal, what do you
like to do after you've eaten?

Do you ever do the dishes? When?

What are your views on nutrition and supplementation?



Personal Habits/Skills/Hobbies/Direction

Is there anything about your current lifestyle or habits that
you would change if there were children being raised in your presence?

What are your views and practices regarding male
dress/appearance?

Are you a home handyman, do you hire a professional, do you
expect your mother/sister/wife to fix it, or do you just ignore it?

Do you enjoy and initiate intellectual stimulation?

What is your view on speech standards, in regards to education
as well as uprightness? Do you alter your speech style when evangelizing
or amongst differing levels of society and for what reason?

Why have you chosen courtship over dating? Was it your parents'
view to start with, or have you dug deeper yourself, and as you have,
has God spoken to you about it?

Would you rather make a large difference in one person's life or
a small difference in the entire world?

What God-given gifts and talents do you have, and how do you use
or plan to use them for God's service?

What weaknesses do you have that I can pray about for you? How
are you trying to overcome them, and is there any way I can help?

What ministry(s) do you have?

Is there any way I would be able to help you in this
ministry(s)?

Have you travelled much?

Do you have a vision for your future family? What is it?

Do you play any musical instruments?

What do you like doing in your spare time?



Politics

What's your view on our present government? Do you think people
should protest against some of the laws that have been passed or may be
passed soon? Or would you rather only pray about it instead of moving in
action?

Do you ever criticize the leaders of our country?

Would you spank your children?



Preferences

Do you like the town or the country better?

What's your favorite animal?

What kind of books do enjoy reading most?

What's your favorite kind of take-aways?



Theology/Church

What part does the Bible play in your life, and what is your
view on modern translations?

What do you consider appropriate music in the church and in the
home and why?

How do you spend your Sabbath and why?

If your church leadership taught or promoted something you
considered errant, how would you respond?

What is your view on mid-week or evening church meetings that
require the presence of husband and/or wife?

What is your opinion of youth groups and children's Sunday
school?

What is your attitude and activity regarding missions and
evangelism?

Do you believe in pre-destination?

Do you believe in "once saved always saved"?

How much time do you spend talking to God? Is He always the main
factor in all of your decisions? How has He impacted your life? When/how
did you become a Christian? Are all the members in your family
Christians or not?"
--Issacharian Daughters, No. 067

I received this earlier in the week, and thought it would be helpful to all of you!

Have a wonderful day!
~@~Courtney~@~

On being my father's daughter

Many girls do not consider serving their fathers a joyful experience much less embrace that service as truly a blessing. Tragically, many of those who call themselves Christians have no respect for their father (or mother, for that matter). But on this subject, the Bible says:

"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." Exodus 20:12

Today I'm going to share some ways that I have found to put this verse into practice.

• Obey him

Obeying your father is perhaps the most important way to honor him. For young women, this should come easily if the will to obey has been cultivated in the years of her childhood. Obeying my father is a joy and a delight! I love it when my father asks me to do something! It gives me a chance to be a blessing to him! In the same way obedience brings joy to my father, disobedience or complaints bring him grief.

• Help him

Helping your father is a wonderful way to be a blessing to him! I love to spend time with my dad as I'm helping him build sets and I love to help him by typing, sewing or giving him my opinions on his work. It's such a fantastic way to practice being a helpmeet to a future husband!

• Talk to him

Something else that can be a blessing to your father is simply spending time talking to him. Besides talking about spiritual matters, you can talk about things that interest him. I know my dad loves it when I show genuine interest in his conversations, hobbies and work. He also loves to hear me talk about what I am thinking and doing.

• Support him

This means to support him in any way possible. Support his vision for your family and find out if there is any way you can help make it happen. My dad comes up with wonderful ideas and I love to support him and encourage him in these endeavors.

• Appreciate him

I never want my father to feel unappreciated! There are plenty of opportunities throughout the year that I can show my appreciation for my father. I love to make him his favorite foods or learn to play his favorite song on the piano. I can even use a blog post to show how much I appreciate him!

I'd love to have more input on this subject! If you have some more ways to encourage young women to be a blessing to their fathers, please leave a comment below!

Thoughts on College Education for Women -- Part 3

To close my series on college education for women, I have included excerpts of Mrs. Jennie Chancey's testimony of her college years found in So Much More. She also gives a similar testimony on her CD, "Jennie B. and the Pilot" currently available through Vision Forum Ministries. Her experience played a large part in finalizing the decision that I will not be attending college.

"...Having been homeschooled for seven years, I was well prepared for college academics. In fact, I'd won a full scholarship to college (my parents` own alma mater). Six months earlier, I had begged my parents to stay home, but the scholarship had made their decision firm, so I finally decided to make the best of things and dive into college life with all my energy. In spite of my homesickness, college life did have it's charms. I was truly in control of my life in a way I never had been before. Though I often sought my parents counsel over the phone, the final decision rested on my shoulders. I could pick the classes I wanted to take, set my own daily schedule, get involved in extracurricular activities, and go out with new friends (at all hours!). My parents had given me excellent study habits, and I found it very easy to keep up with the pace of my major (English with a concentration on writing). But something started to bother me only a few weeks into my time at college. When my Western Civ. professor declared that history was really a series of
"uncoordinated" and "random" events, alarms went off in my head. I believed that God sovereignty orchestrated all of the affairs of men --that history was really "His story." But I quickly quieted my fears, believing the professor would shortly explain himself and get us onto the right track. Well as his worldview continued to unfold, I could only sit in utter disbelief. My Christian professor made it quite clear that he was a theistic evolutionist and did not hold to the belief that the Bible is infallible...

...When one of my literature professors began to reveal her feminist beliefs and advocate 'women's studies' (including "love-poetry" written by lesbians), I wondered if I was really in a Christian school. The New Testament professor under whom I sat for several semesters used every one of his lectures to advance his pet belief that all the male-female roles in Scripture were solely 'cultural' and did not apply to Christians today. He inserted feministic jabs at the reliability of Paul's writings at every opportunity. I'd known before that there were people who rejected the plain teachings of God's Word, but I did not expect to encounter them in a small, 'conservative' Christian college. I purposed to keep my eyes open and my brain in gear as I sat in class and engaged my professors. But I didn't factor in the ability of the constant immersion in opposing worldviews to wear down my resistance.In almost every course I studied over the next four years, a subtle but definite shift began to take place in my outlook and way of thinking. As the seeds of doubt (in God, in my family, in the Church) began to take root in my mind, I felt my heart hardening. No longer did I possess the an unqualified joy in God's creation or even in His work in my life. After all, if 'science' had 'proved' the Bible wrong and outdated, Truth stood on a very shaky foundation. Could even logic be reliable in a world where Truth Himself could be called into question? Perhaps all of those injunctions of St. Paul's really were 'cultural' and irrelevant in our times. Perhaps my New Testament professor was right when he said that, if Jesus had come to earth in our day he would have chosen a woman to be one of his disciples! Three years before, I might have questioned that notion and fought it with all my being --but month after month, my foundations had been eroded to the point that I didn't even know how to argue any more. I just gave up and put the answers on the tests that would give me the coveted 'A'. Now, lest you think I was a 'sheltered' child before college, let me make it clear that my parents had not hidden me from the world's philosophies. In fact, they had worked hard to instill in me a thoroughgoing biblical worldview, teaching me to think, debate ideas, and stand firm on the Truth. Yet four years after entering college, I walked out a bitter, cynical, 'Christian feminist', turning my back upon all the things my parents had given me and determined never to marry....

...[My parents] were not worried about me changing my beliefs or losing my desire to marry and have children, because they had brought me up to embrace a biblical worldview from birth. I went to college totally committed to the Lord's design for marriage and family and focused upon developing my gifts to use later to bless and help my future husband and to train my own children. However when I returned home four years later, I was not the optimistic 19-year-old my parents had sent away. Four years of liberal teaching (heavily influenced by 'Christian' Marxism and the 'social gospel') had slowly worn away my resistance and left me confused and doubtful. But the liberal teaching really wasn't the crux of my change. I also graduated from college bitter toward my parents and certain the Proverbs 31 model was just not for me. I had lived in a false 'real world' for four years --a world that divorced me from my family, alienated me from the Church, and (after seeing serial dating in practice) convinced me that men live only for paychecks and trophy wives and are not to be trusted...

...It is amazing how far removed we are from our own history when it comes to the education of women. The notion that an unprotected young woman should leave her home and family to 'gain independence in the real world' is less than 140 years old. For that matter, so is the notion that a college degree is equal to a thorough education! We've become so shackled to the symbolic piece of paper that even we homeschoolers feel we haven't 'arrived' or 'proved ourselves' until we have a degree on our wall. While there are certainly occupations that require long years of institutional study (perhaps medicine or law), a college degree does not validate one as a thinking person...

...college put me into a kind of 'Twilight Zone' for four years, disconnecting me almost completely from the real world of home, family, little children, grandparents, and even deep church involvement. For four years, I lived in an environment totally unlike the real world I'd be reentering when I graduated. It was a world where my own preferences ruled: I could get up late, stay up at all hours, eat whatever I wanted, go out with friends at any time, take the classes I chose, and, most importantly, slowly disconnect myself from my own family back home. Their concerns were no longer mine. They were no longer closely involved with the decisions I had to make on a day-to-day basis, and I didn't feel obligated to concern myself with what they did, either...

...Shortly before he died, my father confessed to me that he felt he had made the wrong decision all those years before when he'd forced me to go away to college. He asked me to forgive him, then prayed with me, thanking the Lord that He had 'restored the years... the locust had eaten' (Joel 2:25). God is faithful! He can preserve us and protect us in spite of wrong choices. His grace is truly amazing! I am thankful for the good things He did bring out of my time in college --in particular two excellent English professors who worked closely with me to develop my writing skills --but I wouldn't wish those years on another young woman. I've heard many speakers advocate the whole 'college experience' as a must-have for young people. While I do believe men are called to go out into the world and establish themselves in the profession the Lord has called them to, I am willing to say openly that I do not believe there is a reason to send a young woman away to get an education."

As you can see, because of what the Lord has laid on my heart, I have been actively searching the Scriptures and have been researching this topic for quite a while, and as a result, my family and I have decided that I am not going to attend college. The main reasons for this are that I believe that the Lord's calling for women is to be in the home and because of the negative influence of college as a result of the secular worldview.

I do believe women should be educated and instead of college, I've decided to stay home under the authority of my father and continue my education on my own. I will have plenty of time to learn valuable skills that will prepare me for my future role as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Above all, I will continue to actively study the Bible and seek out God's will for my life.

Originally published Feb. 2007 - on Whiskers on Kittens

I would love to hear your view on this! Please leave a comment below.

Thoughts on College Education for Women -- Part 2

Now that I've given many reasons why I'm not going to college, let me explain to you some of the things that are acceptable for women as alternatives for college.

First of all, I believe that women should be very highly educated and that college is not the kind of education that they should desire. A thorough education is available to anyone who is willing to seek out the right kinds of books! The issue here is what kind of education we want. In the book, So Much More, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin write,

"The right education can make a Christian woman a powerful asset to a father's estate and an even more powerful co-ruler of her husband's estate after she marries. The wrong education can pollute her mind, corrupt her heart, and make her useless as a tool for God's glory."

The most important education is that of God's law through studying the Bible. This educates us on the way we can be used most effectively for the glory of God. Another essential subject to be well educated in is the knowledge of God's hand of providence through the study of history. During the years after I graduate, I am going to continue my education on my own under the roof of my father. This will prepare me for later in life when I have my own children to educate! It is important for a girl to be properly educated if she is to be a homeschooling mother!

Something I've already begun to do, and that will continue after I graduate is to do all that I can to be a blessing to my family, particularly my father, helping his business to prosper and furthering his vision for our family.I have also learned how very important it is for me to use these years of my life to learn valuable homemaking skills that will prepare me to easily fill the role of a homemaker and childcare skills that will help me to easily fill the role of a mother. The best way I've been learning to fulfill the role of a wife is by learning what it means to be a helpmeet to my future husband by watching and learning from my mother while she is being a helpmeet to my father, helping him to govern our house wisely. The Botkin sisters stated in their book (So Much More):

"Those who think that women do not need extensive training to be a homemaker are those who would fit the feminists caricature of a housewife."

Some would argue, "What if you never marry? Aren't you afraid of being a financial burden to your parents?" A daughter being supported by her father is never a burden to him if the daughter has been raised right. Sure, if she was spoiled, she would lay around all day and expect her parents to pay for her cell phone, Ipod, computer, car, and gasoline. But if she is raised right she knows that it is most rewarding to be a blessing to her father and mother. Another thing I'd like to achieve is to start a home-based business to contribute to the finances in my home. This could be a tremendous blessing to a young girl's family.Another common argument that comes up when discussing the subject of college is, "What if your husband dies and you're forced to support yourself and your children?" To answer this question I would like to quote the Botkin girls again,

"In God's order, for the Christian woman, there is no circumstance where a widow or abandoned women is forced to support herself. The reason this question is often asked is because fathers and churches and other responsible parties are not being responsible...."

"...we should be bending all of our energies toward making God's ideal a reality in our lives, pursuing the best case scenario with all our might."

Above all in this situation we would rely on God's hand of providence and His provision.

Originally published Feb. 2007 on Whiskers on Kittens

Thoughts on College Education for Women -- Part 1

My lifelong aspiration is to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. It is the Biblical (and the most noble) calling for women.

"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5

Women are called to be most influential to the world by being a helpmeet to their husbands and by raising up and educating the next generation of warriors for Christ, not by influencing those in the workplace. Our belief that women should not work outside the home is quite contradictory to the feminist worldview that is apparent in the world today. Feminists believe that women share the same role as men and can therefore do anything that men can do. This is simply not true. According to the biblical standard, men are to be the head of the household and are the ones who are called to provide for their family, while women are called to be homemakers, mothers, and helpmeets to their husbands. What these feminists do not realize is that, by supporting "women's rights", they are causing women nothing but grief.

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return." Genesis 3:16-19

In these verses we see that the curse of man and the curse of woman are two entirely different things --both with wonderful outcomes. Men have to work hard to provide for their family. Women have to endure hard labor and pain in childbirth. When women are out in the world working, they are embracing both the man's curse and the woman's curse. I, along with the other girls in my family, will not be working outside the home. That is one of the reasons why I am not going to college. There are actually several reasons why my family and I have decided this. The purpose of college is for training an individual for a future career. As I've stated above, I am planning to be a stay at home wife, mother, and homemaker which by the world's standards is not an important occupation and, therefore, is not taught at any college. God's highest calling for women does not require a college degree.

Most people would argue with me at this point saying, "Even if you have no use for a college degree, everyone needs to experience the new level of independence that you get from college!" The independence of the college experience is supposed to prepare young people for "real life". I believe that women should never be completely independent. They are to remain under the roof and authority of their father until the day that they are married when the authority is then transferred to her husband for the rest of her life.

Another reason that I've made the decision to stay home is also one of the same reasons that our family decided to homeschool. It is not only dangerous for a woman to be on her own and unprotected but, along with public schools and private schools, colleges are heavily influenced by Marxism, feminism and a secular worldview... even "Christian" colleges! This is not the place for an impressionable young girl to be spending a great deal of time. Even if the girl thinks her faith is strong enough to withstand this kind of influence, she need not be so deceived. It is especially easy for her Biblical worldview to be destroyed. As stated by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin in their book, So Much More:

"...long term immersion in an environment of false religious ideas can destroy good character and corrupt morality."

Scripture is clear on this point:

"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."1 Cor. 15:33

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful." Psalm 1:1

The Bible clearly shows that Christians are not to be associated with all of the wickedness in this world. So many Christians believe that you have to spend time with the wicked in order to evangelize them. This is a false idea, established to give those who call themselves "Christians" an excuse to act like the world. When a young girl is around others who deny Christ and live in rebellion to His Word, she will tend to stray from the biblical truths that her parents have worked so hard to teach her from birth. A father who has worked to shepherd his daughter's heart, can lose that precious possession in a matter of four years in college.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." 2 Cor. 6:14-18

Our family strives to be set apart from the world, not giving in to temptations to "fit in" or "go with the flow". We stand firm in our beliefs even when they differ greatly from everyone else. The majority of people - even Christians - believe that a college degree is essential if you are to be successful in life. I believe strongly that it is not. To be successful in life does not include a college degree --far from it. The only true measure of success is complete submission to the Lord God and living according to His providential plan. The last reason that I'm going to mention here (although there are many more) is that young girls will begin to depend on peers more than the loving guidance of her parents during the college years. The closeness that she once had with her family is so easily destroyed! How tragic this can be for the young girl's family!

Originally published Feb. 2007 - on Whiskers on Kittens

Influence On Siblings

Welcome to our new blog! To start off, I thought I would post about a topic that weighs heavily on my heart as the oldest of six. I'm going to share some practical advice for maintaining a godly relationship between an older daughter and her siblings.

The relationship between siblings is, from the world's viewpoint, mocked and looked upon as a nuisance. Rivalry is considered normal, even for Christians. Is it not true that Christians should follow Jesus' example and show love and compassion for fellow man? Is not one's family more important than common man? It is quite crucial to consider the way Christians are represented in this corrupted world. If you are bickering with your siblings, you are showing those that are lost that Christians are no different from them. Why should they want what you have?

• First of all, to be a godly influence on my siblings, I need to be sure that my heart is right with the Lord. Prayer and the reading of Scripture are required if you want to become a virtuous woman in any regard.

• Take joy in caring for your siblings! I have found that caring for my young siblings is a wonderful training experience for future parenthood! In these years of preparation to be a wife and mother, I can have lots of experience with my siblings regardless of how old they are. It's true with so many years difference between my baby brother and me, I have been able to do nearly everything a mother would do for him including putting him to sleep, changing him, bathing him, and even staying up with him in the middle of the night. These things have been a wonderful learning experience for me as well as a tremendous help to my mother! Even with siblings closer to me in age, I learn patience, selflessness and the self-discipline that it takes to be a parent. I love being able to experience firsthand how the minds of children work and I can observe and learn from my mother how to rear them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

• I have learned that one of the most important ways to get along with my siblings and virtually all others around me is to remember to always treat them with kindness and compassion. A little respect goes a long way with siblings, especially those who are closest to you in age. They may be the hardest to get along with. The golden rule applies here: Treat others as you wish to be treated.

• Another thing that is crucial in building godly sibling relationships involves one little word, time. A very wise lady once told me, "Children spell love, T-I-M-E." There is nothing my little sisters love more from me than spending time playing their games, reading to them or teaching them a new skill. Though it's often a hard investment to make, the Lord blesses my efforts greatly! Sometimes I employ them in a very productive activity by making it into a game! They LOVE it when I play "restaurant" while fixing lunch. Sometimes I'm an Italian chef, sometimes a baker, sometimes a waitress at "Flibby's Sandwich Bistro." They also love to play things like "airplane" when I play the pilot, the stewardess, and a passenger all in one. Or, I simply come in and play a brief part in their game. A little goes a long way. They love it when I read to them, direct a play that they star in, or just play their favorite song for them on the piano while they sing.

• It's important to build your siblings up instead of always treating them in a condescending way. While, occasionally I must gently reprimand them, I never discipline or play the part of their mother. They should be loved and built up by their older sister, not constantly scolded or threatened.

• One of the more important things I've learned is that a great encouragement to younger siblings is to always model Biblical, feminine behavior. They are constantly around me so I have to be aware of the innocent little eyes that are watching me and looking up to me for an example. This is a sobering thought which I'm sure is greatly intensified when you become a parent yourself. I always need to be respectful and obedient to my parents, industrious, ladylike, and gentle in speech. Also, I should model patience, kindness, and be sure to encourage them to read Scripture and pray everyday by doing the same. Modeling my biblical calling as a woman is highly beneficial for my younger sisters because they get to see, firsthand, the kind of woman God wants them to become. They see me practicing my home-making skills and want to do the same. They walk with feminine grace. They prefer dresses to pants. This is also beneficial for my younger brothers because it encourages them to behave in a chivalrous fashion and to seek to use their time wisely- to pursue manly ambitions. It's easier to be a gentleman, when you are under a lady's influence. I always try my best to encourage them when they act in this manner. It's very important to encourage your siblings when you see them doing right and pleasing the Lord in their actions and thoughts.

• To be a godly sister, it's essential to practice selflessness and patience. These are necessary character traits for every Christian and require lots of prayer and help from the Lord to master. If you can master these, becoming a godly sister will come easily.

• Show genuine care for your siblings and their relationship with God. Your siblings are able to tell if you genuinely care for them and their well-being.

• Also, always remember to think on things which are pure:

  "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil. 4:8

  When you have these things on your mind, it's easier to display them in your conduct. Be careful what you read, watch, and say. Little children remember these things.
  

• Pray for your siblings! This is very important. When praying for yourself and asking the Lord to cultivate a godly character in you, do the same for your siblings. Pray for faults you may notice, pray that God will give them a vision for the future, pray that the Lord will keep them safe in the hollow of His hand, and most importantly, pray that the Lord will save their souls and that they would serve Him all the days of their lives.

I hope this has been an encouragement to you! I pray that this blog will continue to be an encouragement to young women and stay-at-home daughters everywhere who are embracing the Biblical calling of virtuous womanhood. I'm not at all a perfect sister and, of course, I know how difficult it is when you realize you've failed in this aspect. I trust the Lord for grace and wisdom in all things, including those things concerning my influence on my siblings. I hope and pray that you can do the same!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter! Please leave a comment below!